Today is my death bed.

In 1/2 hour, I have to take a Czerny exam, and then an ad chem exam, back-to-back. And then, a band concert which I'm not completely ready for. I need music. Not other people's music. My own. I can create music with any purpose/motive I want, not someone else's. Why search for just the right kind of music if I can write it myself? That's like asking someone else to write your schedule, or going out to buy a hat when you can knit the right kind of hat yourself.

So that's what I'll do after school. I need to unwind.

Jimmy and Ashwin are playing the Pokemon trading card game using Game Boy emulators. Now I REALLY want to play the game. I'm talking about the real game, with real cards. I'm going to get my cards from back home. Call me I dork; I don't give a damn.

I never understood the concept of why someone would call another person a dork or a nerd. Or a geek. I've talked about it with my friends, and we could never all agree on what the differences between a nerd, a geek, and a dork are. They really aren't much different. But I think I understand now: calling someone a nerd, geek, or dork is simply a way of belittling people for not fitting into the social norm. The terms nerd and geek seem to refer to someone who values school highly and/or isn't socially adept.

And then there's the term, "weird." Someone who is weird, by definition, is someone who is different, but the word carries a negative connotation. Why is it bad to be different?

It's a word expressing condescension that exists solely because the person who says the word thinks that he/she is doing the right thing because it's more widely accepted. But what's "cool" isn't always right. And what's strange isn't always wrong.

I think It's okay to use the word "weird" in reference to something that's different but it also wrong. Just remember that because it's different doesn't mean it's wrong. Damn reactionaries.

Friday I went with my family and Ashwin to visit UIUC. That was pretty cool. I visited ISR and Hendrick House, two of the res halls there. I applied to Hendrick House, and that looks like where I'm going to be.

I need sleep. peace.