I'm growing impatient.

HAHA I drove to Ottawa and back and got paid for it. If I can do something I love to do (e.g. driving) and get paid for it, that's just the best thing ever.

I don't remember what else I was going to say.

More Random Thoughts from Week 2

Just felt a raindrop at 7:16 AM. Balls.
Where the hell is Campbell Hill, IL?
80% chance of rain today. One of the iron workers says he saw a bunch on the way here in 2 to 3 hours. (7:08 AM)
Of Montreal stuck in my head. Somehow, it's Tyler's fault.
I'll be the first to admit that I don't know whit. (Hey, that rhymes)
7:00-3:30. That's 17 half-hours. I'm almost done with the first one. Wtf is 1/17 anyway?
I always get Walter Payton and George Foreman confused...
Pissed At Underachieving Losers.
Behind Rambunctiousness is Immaturity Enlightened, And it's Never Not Enjoyable
"My train of thought derailed, caught fire, and crashed into the side of a mountain."
Fuck iPods. I just get songs playing in my head.
Current songs on my mental iPod shuffle: 1) 2nd song I'm writing now for a certain purpose... 2) Trapped in the Drive Thru by Weird Al (don't ask) 3) Take on Me 4) The Robin (a song I'm writing)
Supervisor left 40 minutes ago to go on a "tobacco run". I love how chill this job is.
Plans for this weekend: Friday, 4pm- Drive to Janelle's, arrive at 6pm, stay the night. Saturday: 12pm(ish)- Go home, 2pm- arrive home. 3:30pm-Erika's graduation thing. Sunday- spend the day with Brie! I hope the car's fixed by then
I just saw a one-winged robin. How sad.
Dow Jones increased by 200 points today. Go, Barack, go!
I'm sitting here listening to the sports station on the radio, thanks to my supervisor, during my lunchbreak. The Cubs lost 8 in a row. Lol.
There's a camp they're advertising as "the official summer camp of the Chicago Bulls." I can imagine a bunch of loser parents with fucked-up priorities pushing their children into that.

The minivan broke down yesterday. My parents took it in to get it fixed today. My dad says it'll take them a couple days. It better fucking be fixed by the weekend, because I have a LOT of people I want to see.

Another thing brought to my attention was the "Atheist Challenge." Even being someone who takes the "I don't give a fuck" stance on religion, this intrigues me, partly because I am more an atheist than any other religious classification and partly because it pisses me off to see instances of people lacking awareness, knowledge, and/or reverence for people of differing beliefs.

The Atheist Challenge is a series of questions inquiring about the nature of an atheist's beliefs. Said questions are as follows:

1. Where do you get your morality from?
2. Why do you accept evolution? Explain how you came to your conclusion.
3. What is the meaning and purpose of your life?
4. What is the greatest thing you've ever done for others and why?
5. Would you kill for atheism?
6. Why are you an atheist and why do you consider your position valid?
7. If you died and met god and discovered he/she/it existed, what would you say to he/she/it?
8. What would it take for you to believe in a god?
9. What religion is the most dangerous in your eyes today, and in the past?
10. Name three peaceful religions you have no issue with.
11. Would the world be a better place without religion?
12. How do you feel about government and politics?
13. If you could go back in time and kill Hitler/Stalin as babies, to prevent the killing of millions in the future, and time travel was possible, would you do it?
14. Why is stem cell research so important?
15. Is abortion evil?
16. What would the circumstances need to be for you to approve of abortion, as an individual?
17. Should we save anumals from going extinct?
18. Do you approve of capital punishment?
19. Do you believe in any aliens, ghosts, spirits, souls, or supernatural forces?
20. Would you give your life for a loved one, with the chance you may end up in hell?
21. Explain in detail the process of death.

I'll answer these at some point later on but for now............I don't know.

Random thoughts: Week 2

I just identified the first cowbirds I've seen of the season!

Question: Would you like it better if I told you "I hope it gets better" or if I told you "It'll get better." Should I make the realistic statement or the assumptive one?

Got my grades. I'm satisfied pretty okay.

Ok people. Twitter didn't make the # function so you could spam a phrase, and other people can use it to attract attention to their posts.

When I was little, I used to imagine the cookies and crackers in my pantry to have feelings and personalities, and I'd be afraid to eat them.

Excited to see you again, though it won't be for another week.

I came up with a second song in the shower. I need to go play it before it falls into the back of my mind, never to see anything ever again except for dust mites and cobwebs. Going to play it now!

Random thoughts: Week 1

Things can get pretty uneventful at my job sometimes. I'm basically the inspector that makes sure the stuff that the construction workers build is according to plan, which involves taking measurements and surveying. But it takes longer for the construction workers to build something than it does to check it. So there's some waiting around involved.
What I do to quell this is bring along a pad of post-it notes which I carry around in my pocket. When I have a bit of down-time, I'll find somewhere to more-or-less hide and write down some random thoughts. Because whether I have a place to write thoughts down or not, I will always be thinking about things to occupy that time.
At the end of the week, I plan on writing these short, incoherent thoughts here on my blog. So here is THIS WEEK IN PAUL'S RANDOM THOUGHTS:

It's amazing how someone you've barely even seen in real life can pull on your heart strings. Damn you, new technology. Damn you. =)

It's been 25 minutes and my supervisor hasn't shown up yet. Wtf? (It turns out he was in the back room the whole time =/ .)

Now I understand why a lot of men go home exhausted and seem like chauvinists to their women. It's because of these heavily masculine jobs where they spend their entire day around other men!

I'm glad I brought these post-it notes for me to write down my thoughts. They're an effective expenditure of time. And expenditure of time is just what I need right now.

This job has instilled in me a fear that I've been spending the bulk of my past wasting time educating myself, just so I can fucking stand around, or start from scratch again.

These guys are hilarious. Even when things are fucked up, they keep a sense of humor.

Manholes are like buried treasures that you DON'T want to find.

Dump trucks are important. When you have existing structures that you want to get rid of, the shit has to get out of here somehow.

The whole bridge structure rests on a set of steel girders that span the bed of the creek.

I feel bad for the construction workers, busting their asses as I sit here and watch them.

I now realize why blue and green are my favorite colors. Nature FTW!

The backhoe is a giant beast that manipulates the earth in a way I never could. It's like Jurassic Park or something.

Paul's current status: wimp.

Standing around out here helps me in two ways: 1. I am able to be alone with my thoughts. 2. I get used to being outdoors & on the job site.

Maybe I should just go through a pad of post-it notes every day, writing out random thoughts as they occur.

Put this magic in a basket, float it down the river, and don't know if you'll ever see it again. But keep track of it so you know where it's going.

I hope you come back sooner than later. Or go when I can go.

Goddamn. 2 days out here and I already have a farmer's tan.

I learned what a sleeper slab is!

Philip Defranco's life is SO FUCKING EASY! I am jealous.

Why am I getting paid to do this?

MY POST-ITS ARE NOW WET WITH SWEAT.

I found myself saying, "Aw, my ..'ow' hurts."

The toilets in Union Station have rotating ass-plastic.

I need to toughen up emotionally and physically in the same time period. Well this is great timing.

I can't stop thinking about ...

Every time something external reminds me of her, I'll write the thought preceded by a *.

* Let's start with the song I'm writing for her being stuck in my head.

A lot of us suburban teenagers get so spoiled that we expect every waking moment to be stimulating somehow. That's why they always whine, "I'm bored."

I think I should make a twitter account for these random thoughts, or at least have somewhere on the internet to put them.

Damnit! I can't even use Memorial Day as an excuse to see her!

"If I claim to be a wise man, it surely means that I don't know."

You need to share your ideas and experiences and you need to be open to others' ideas and experiences

New styles coming soon!

SO...last week was finals. That was kind of rough. I did decently, though, to my belief. This week, I have a new job for IDOT (ze Illinois Dept. of Transportation). I get paid $13/hr to stand around and watch people build things. The point is to be a civil engineer that supervises the construction of a bridge across a creek, which happens to be like 3 minutes from my house (score!). But it takes a lot longer for the construction workers to ..construct (what else?) things. So mostly I just watch, and then I'll assess what's being done through some form of surveying/measurements. I don't know WHAT the fuck I'm doing, though. I've never had a job like this before, so above all, this is a learning experience. I still despise the feeling of being useless as these guys do all of the hard work. What's more, my supervisor does most of the engineer work, being the guy who actually knows what the fuck he's doing. I make like $100 a day, though. I think I'm just uneasy about it because I didn't expect this to be a full-time job. Now, all of a sudden, I'm making $100 a day waking up at 6:15am. It's not what I was expecting, so it'll take some getting used to. I'm starting to do that pretty well, so it's all good.

Last Thursday, Mike, Bill, Kyle, Dave and I went walking all-the-fuck over campus, even to the far reaches, from 9pm to 1am. We had to have walked at least six miles. We walked through a cemetery on the south side of campus in the dark. Some of the others were mildly creeped out. It's a CEMETERY. This is why I don't like watching movies.

Today I figured out why I don't like movies. It's because I don't believe the reality of anything in movies happening in real life. The reality within a movie is a distorted one, where every message is conveyed clearly and simply, whether verbally or metaphorically, so that the audience can completely understand with little mental manipulation. Movies are so much more to-the-point, whereas life is not. Sorry, folks, but your purpose in life isn't going to be presented to you, and it's not one concrete thing. It's all the little things you do for people that add up in the end.

I went over across the street to Hallie's and saw Tyler and various people from Oswego I haven't seen in almost a year. They were watching "Taken." They said it was intense and action-packed. I was strangely unmoved watching it. I still didn't believe the feasibility of any of it.

I need to move some things around on this blog, for it is about to serve a new purpose. I'll get to that tomorrow, though, as I need to wake up at 6:20am tomorrow. Good night, y'alls.

wishes he had a camera implanted in his brain. Then I would always look back at the picture of you smiling.

Work is getting better, and my farmer's tan is getting worse. I'm getting used to it. I've just been being a wimp. I'm actually starting to burn on my arms...need to work on that.

Tomorrow's the last day of the week!

stupidfuckingshittyjob.
I need to stop being a wimp. It's the only thing between the job's being awesome and the stupidfuckingshittyness of it. It's all about attitude.

I can't get you out of my head
It seems that I won't until the day that I'm dead
But if that happens I want you to know
That I hope you'll be with me wherever I go

Random song lyrics. No reason.

Random thought #1:

When you make a connection with someone, you share pieces of yourself with that person. But when you break up, you might never get those pieces back.
For example, your special someone will love a certain song. But after you break up with that someone, that song will remind you of that someone and it'll be ruined.

Take this magic, put it in a basket, float it down a river, not knowing if you'll ever see it again. That is, unless I keep track of where it's going.

Oh man. My brain hasn't been under this much stress in years.

One reason is easily understandable: it's finals week. I don't fully comprehend that I have thus completed 4 final exams, 3 of which lasted me between 2.5 hours and the maximum allowed time for taking the finals, 3 hours. I'm tired.

The other reason is something I don't really want to talk about here. It's so strange, and I feel that most of the people around me would disapprove of what's going on. I'll mention it later probably.

I should write more in this when I get home. I sort of forgot this blog existed, and by that I mean that it sort of sunk back further into my head.