Sorry I've been so behind. I've written a lot of stuff in this journal since the time of the last post (4-15). All of the stuff after 4-15 up to now begins on page 14 and ends on page 36! But most of it is either too secret to tell you or rantings and blabberings about Illinois roads. So here goes:

April 18, 2008
I don't understand why nearly every popular song these days pertains to love. Is that the only thing motivating people to write music? Why not write about pineapples? Or soccer? Or the NFL--wait, I don't actually want to hear about that. Seriously, though--why are all of the popular songs about love?
I know that love isn't what motivates me to write music. I write music because I enjoy music's ability to convey many different moods and themes--not just the SAME THING EVERY TIME. I write sweet songs, nostalgic songs, silly songs, and beastly songs that have a higher lever of intensity. None of the ten songs I've written pertain to love. None of them are written with the sole intent of pleasing a female. I write my music to please everyone, and give something to the world. Not just chicks. I try to vary the moods and themes of my music, because I figure that people would get sick of the same ideas recurring and that it would be better to create things so that a greater number of people would enjoy them. Why don't other people feel the same way? It's annoying.
Now for some jokes about drunkenness!
1) I'm too func to drunktion.
2)I swear to drunk I'm not God
3) I'm not drunk, ociffer!

Those are all that I know

The best Russian reversal ever:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
In Soviet Russia,
Poem writes YOU!

I watched a special featuring Bill Nye the Science Guy about the concept of race. I learned from it that race has no scientific background--it has no known link to DNA or genetics. Race is merely a social construct. So the entire justification of racism is completely made up by people! Race doesn't actually exist outside the human species--it's all made up! Race is only a tool for discrimination and labeling.

April 19, 2008-

I was reading a book by Viktor Frankl in my English class, and I grew an appreciation for existentialism. The underlying theme of existentialism is the idea that the only one responsible for one's destiny is oneself. I really do believe that-- I am the only one who can make my life the way I want it to be, and the only one responsible for making my dreams come true is myself. But my mom has different dreams for me--and I'm sure the dreams of a child's parents for that child don't perfectly match the child's own dreams, either.
Frankl also declared that the underlying primary motive of humankind is a will to meaning-- that is, our primary goal in our lives is to give our lives meaning, or purpose. I have a purpose in mind for myself, and I seek to fulfill it; however, my mom has a different purpose in mind for me. I see my purpose as to collect road signs and travel, to share my traveling experiences with other people, to write music, to design roadways, and to make the world a better the place. I don't see how I could be achieving the right kind of meaning unless I help the world in some way.
But what meaning does a mother have? I think I figured it out in the car on the way to school-- a mother achieves meaning through creating a child which brings things to the world. Frankl mentioned that peopls can achieve meaning by creating things for the world. In the case of a mother, she can create children which grow up to create their own things, and achieve meaning in other ways, too. So the meaning that a grown child creates is meaning for the mother, as well as the father, too, at the same time. In creating a purpose for myself, I am also creating purpose for my parents.
A big change might occur in my life soon. I'll leave it at that.

April 20, 2008-
My pencil is my best friend. It is my medium for expressing my ideas.
Right now, I'm on the IMSA short bus, on the way to Starved Rock State Park. It's the most notable state park in northern Illinois--pretty much everyone knows about it. About two years ago, they build at indoor waterpark at the corner of Illinois Route 71 and Illinois Route 178, which his a road built solely for the purpose of connecting Starved Rock to Interstate 80.
The teacher taking us there is Dr. Nokkentved (p.k.a. "Doc Nok"), a history teacher. Everyone I talk to seems to really like him, though I've never had him as a teacher myself. He turned on the radio, to some hip-hop song constructed from blatant strong sexual references called, "Touch My Body" (that's a guess--it's the line that's repeated about a hundred times throughout the "song"). It didn't seem to make sense with the fact that his pant legs were rolled up almost to his knees, revealing long green stockings underneath--the look overall seemed to belong in the late eighteenth century to me (not that I see anything wrong with that). He is a good person at heart, and very knowledgeable.
The hip-hop music didn't last for one music--he quickly switched the radio to a station which was playing opera music. "Music you can sleep to," he jokingly remarked with a smile on his face. It made me smile, too.
Right now, we're on Orchard Road, which runs from Route 71 at Oswego to Randall Road near North Aurora. It parallels the Fox River to the west. I take it to get to school. Starting at Route 71, it's a two-lane road; then it becomes a four-lane road, then a two-lane road, and then a four-lane road again. They really need to widen the two-lane section in the middle.
And now we're on Route 71.
Today, I noticed that some of the grass was glistening. Dew! It's the first time I've seen it in a while.
The weather forecasters expect another day of 70's today. This makes four, total--Wed., Thurs., and Fri. all had highs in the 70's. They're saying that tomorrow, we might get mid- to upper-70's.
I've got geometry homework to do. I'll write more later.

...

We've just finished our hike through Starved Rock, and now we're on the bus back to school. I talked with Goki quite a lot. It was a long and exhaustive hike, but it was refreshing, too. The back we just passed by in Newark said it was 76 degrees, What amazing weather. No bugs, either. Doc Nok hikes rather fast, and he's a very experienced hiker.
I have the song, "Kiss from a Rose" by Seal stuck in my head. I blame Zexi.

And now for today...

Today, I went with Macy to Fox Valley Mall. There's not really much for a guy like me to do at the mall other than sit in the bookstore and stare at a road atlas, or see what kinds of crazy crap are in the dollar store, or eat yummy Chinese food from Panda Express. (Tyler would be jealous.) That's pretty much all we did. Maceface got some Magic cards from GameStop, and we just kinda hung out. We resorted to playing cards at a table in the food court for the last 45 minutes of the trip.

I've been thinking of a song for Erika as I was taking a shower. It's a nerdy song filled with nerdy romantic innuendos. I want it to make people laugh.

I'm staying at school this weekend. Weird....but it meant that I had to do my own laundry. I wish someone would have told me that the dryer on top didn't work before I wasted 80 cents trying to use it...

Last night, I OD's on some SimCity 4. I stayed up til 2 O_o

I'm not going to do the same THIS night! HAHAA!

Oh and we played Apples to Apples. Apparently, David's going to make a chauvinistic version of Apples to Apples. I suggested the name "Assholes to Assholes." I think he liked it ...lol

15 months of facebook status messages

I'm going to post 15 months' worth of status messages from facebook. *reminiscing time*

Yesterday:

Paul knows a story about Dave Matthews poop!

10:02pm

April 13

Paul : "What's in a name?" Two A's, an M, an E and an N. That's what.

11:11pm

April 10

Paul has realized it's gonna take a hella long time to write this musical composition.

6:07pm

Paul never realized how much of a bitch it is to organize thoughts for melodies/ harmonies/ countermelodies/ whatever into definite parts for specific instruments.

4:14pm

April 9

Paul (gasp) actually wants to GO OUTSIDE!? It's about time spring got the best of me.

10:40pm

Paul has (HOLY SHIT) POKEMON CARDS!!! WANNA PLAY ME? haha, I'm such a dork.

8:26pm

April 8

Paul says, fuck Darles Chickens. I'm happy when it rains.

8:04pm

April 6

Paul is back at friggin school.

11:38pm

April 4

Paul is marvelling at this weekend's weather forecast http://weather.wgntv.com/US/IL/Chicago.html. Tom is a beast.

March 27

Paul : Who can take a rainbow| implant it in your brain | and make sure you do more acid so the image doesn't leave| until you scream in pain? (answer on wall).

11:09pm

March 26

Paul needs a new profile picture.

9:56am

March 24

Paul speaks fluent Dumbass.

10:47pm

March 20

Paul just updated the 07-08 quote wall! Check it out (it's a note)!

12:47pm

Paul has Life on Mars by David Bowie stuck in his head, because the chord progression just before the chorus is OWNAGE.

10:25am

March 19

Paul thinks that if God gives you lemons, you FIND A NEW GOD.

11:17pm

March 18

Paul is really sleepy this week.

6:59pm

March 12

Paul thinks honesty box is a load of crap. If you want to say something about me, say it to my face and don't be a chicken. I promise I won't get pissed.

9:45pm

March 10

Paul is devoid of academic motivation. I'm done with this shit.

10:45pm

March 6

Paul is getting impatient because spring sure is taking its sweet-ass time in getting here! Come on already!

2:58pm

Paul shbleah.

2:42pm

March 4

Paul : lol...it says "compare yourself with you" on my profile...wait, when the hell did I add that application?

10:27pm

February 27

Paul is a pineapple with rabies.

7:49pm

February 25

Paul is NOT ACCEPTING APPLICATION INVITATIONS. YEASH.

10:05pm

Paul is not gay, but he won't get in the way.

4:08pm

February 20

Paul thinks the awkward turtle is stupid. "Hey! Let's bring up the fact that situation is awkward and make it MORE AWKWARD!" Wtf?

10:31pm

February 19

Paul always tells himself, there can't be any fuckers worse than this! And then I find out that there are. Fuck you, WBC.

12:36pm

February 13

Paul is as wiped as a baby's ass.

8:37pm

February 11

Paul is lolling to the fact that Czerny wrote "LOL" in an email to him.

10:27pm

February 7

Paul 's like, STOP PLAYING GAMES DANGIT!

10:50pm

Paul likes girls. I want to talk about girls.

9:14pm

Paul likes coming up with good ideas.

12:27am

February 5

Paul can't think of anything to write here.

10:28pm

Paul feels sick physically but great emotionally...I guess that's what pizza does to me.

12:14pm

February 2

Paul needs to get his ass out of the room once in a while, geez. I did NOTHING today,.

7:08pm

February 1

Paul TOTALLY CALLED IT! I KNEW IT SINCE WED. NIGHT! OH! OH! WHAT! WHAT!

4:33pm

January 31

Paul is hoping for a snow day, tomorrow....

10:27pm

Paul has just realized...with email, people from another COUNTRY can spam you with no extra charge. Greeeeeat.

10:36am

January 29

Paul thoroughly cherishes I-days now.

12:09am

January 24

Paul can see why people are calculating that the days from 1-21 to 1-24 are statistically the most depressing days of the year.

9:26pm

Paul thinks that weather this cold makes him want to wear shorts on Saturday...It's going to warm all the way up to THIRTY!...Holy CRAP, what am I saying?

9:26am

January 23

Paul is tired of the cold...and just tired in general.

6:55pm

January 19

Paul likes pizza.

1:13pm

January 18

Paul <(!).

11:58am

January 16

Paul is looking forward to the snow, even if it's only 1-2 inches...but HOLY CRAP! It's supposed to be in the LOW SINGLE DIGITS ON SATURDAY!

11:53pm

Paul is a person.

11:27pm

January 15

Paul was less than four hundred points from beating the last level of the USA Challenge...BALLS!

8:23pm

Paul is aggravated by all of the scholarships who only are open to very specific niches...I bet I could get more money for college if I eat pinecones and shit gold.

12:07pm

January 14

Paul says "SAY NOTA DOTA!".

7:51pm

January 13

Paul is ok.

1:58pm

January 12

Paul is trying to keep his wits as he observes how many realize the world is going to hell, few do anything about it, and most simply try to ignore it and be happy.

12:11am

Paul is uttering a sigh of relief, but still extremely bitter.

12:08am

January 10

Paul is extremely bitter.

11:20pm

January 8

Paul likes sleep.

12:22pm

So I bought a real journal over the weekend in Chicago. I've written quite a lot in it over the past week. I'll eventually have it posted up here too.

I thought of something for my top ten best things of all time:

Puppies.

I have about 6-7 items for my worst list, those will be up with the journal posting.

Today is my death bed.

In 1/2 hour, I have to take a Czerny exam, and then an ad chem exam, back-to-back. And then, a band concert which I'm not completely ready for. I need music. Not other people's music. My own. I can create music with any purpose/motive I want, not someone else's. Why search for just the right kind of music if I can write it myself? That's like asking someone else to write your schedule, or going out to buy a hat when you can knit the right kind of hat yourself.

So that's what I'll do after school. I need to unwind.

Jimmy and Ashwin are playing the Pokemon trading card game using Game Boy emulators. Now I REALLY want to play the game. I'm talking about the real game, with real cards. I'm going to get my cards from back home. Call me I dork; I don't give a damn.

I never understood the concept of why someone would call another person a dork or a nerd. Or a geek. I've talked about it with my friends, and we could never all agree on what the differences between a nerd, a geek, and a dork are. They really aren't much different. But I think I understand now: calling someone a nerd, geek, or dork is simply a way of belittling people for not fitting into the social norm. The terms nerd and geek seem to refer to someone who values school highly and/or isn't socially adept.

And then there's the term, "weird." Someone who is weird, by definition, is someone who is different, but the word carries a negative connotation. Why is it bad to be different?

It's a word expressing condescension that exists solely because the person who says the word thinks that he/she is doing the right thing because it's more widely accepted. But what's "cool" isn't always right. And what's strange isn't always wrong.

I think It's okay to use the word "weird" in reference to something that's different but it also wrong. Just remember that because it's different doesn't mean it's wrong. Damn reactionaries.

Friday I went with my family and Ashwin to visit UIUC. That was pretty cool. I visited ISR and Hendrick House, two of the res halls there. I applied to Hendrick House, and that looks like where I'm going to be.

I need sleep. peace.